KH: A Perverted Misunderstanding
by Meri Leilune
Summary: What happens when Kairi comes home to find something missing and asks Sora and Roxas about it? A misunderstanding that gets perverted results. SorKaiRoku three-way. Lemon in Part Two.


Kingdom Hearts: Perverted Misunderstanding

_I'm so stressed… I need my PSP…_

It was a quiet evening at the residence of 205 Destiny Drive, not like what I would normally expect. But when I mean normal, I usually mean loud and chaotic. I had just arrived home from college late because of a project I had to work overtime for. As soon as I walked through the front door, I dropped my backpack on the carpet. _I don't care if Riku bitches at me for leaving my bag on the floor again..._I thought, _I need my alone time…Besides, he ain't coming home for a while, so I'll pick it up later. _I made a lazy, exhausted march up the stairs, and into my room.

Usually, when I leave things in my room and go to school, I expect them to be in the same place when I get back. But today, something seemed way off when I entered my room, and I soon found out why. Last night, after an intense gaming session, I placed my PSP on my nightstand. I woke up this morning, and it was in the same place before I left for school. I walked into my room, expecting my black PSP to be in the same place where I left it, on my nightstand near my lamp. But when I sat on my bed and reached for my game, all I felt was wood.

"What the…"

My head snapped to the place where my PSP was supposed to be. The only thing on the nightstand was my light blue bead lamp. One of my eyes twitched in frustration.

_Okay, Kairi, keep calm… Don't panic. Maybe, in some weird fluke, I misplaced it somewhere._

I stood up and searched in my dresser because sometimes, my most important stuff falls in one of the compartments. I didn't find anything besides my missing Legend of Zelda game that I was searching weeks for.

_Well, I found that, but where's my PSP?_

I started to think very carefully about where it could be. Then I remembered something.

_Roxas and Sora asked me for my PSP yesterday, and I told them no. And those two are notorious for going into my room and messing with my shit…_

I heard laughter coming from down the hall.

_They're home…_

My fists clenched at the thought of those two messing with my game and ruining it. I stormed out of my room and headed for their hangout room, which is Sora's room. I banged on the door.

"Sora, open this damned door this instant!" I shouted.

A voice called from in the room, "What's the password?"

My eye twitched even more. I wanted so badly to curse them out, but that would lead to two things: Sora not opening the door and deciding to piss me off from the other side, and Sora and Roxas telling Riku what happened with my little outburst, and me getting into huge trouble with my parents, because Riku's the one who tells them what goes on with me. I sighed in agitation.

"Please open the door…" _I have to play by their rules… that is, until I enter the room… Then all hell's gonna break loose if I don't get my game back…_

I heard the lock on the door click, and the door slowly creaked open. A brunette male was standing in the doorway. His bright baby blue eyes were locked on some part of me as I waited impatiently for him to step to the side and let me in.

He only smirked at me when I finally said, "Well, Sora, are you gonna let me in, or do we continue our little staring contest?"

"Choice number two sounds like fun," Sora snickered.

_Is he serious?_ I thought as a huge vein began to throb on the top of my forehead. _Okay, cool it, Kai-Kai. You're here for the game, remember? You can punch him later when you get it back…_

"May I please come in?" I said coolly as the vein disappeared from my forehead.

Sora looked at me up and down, and I wasn't sure if he was either checking to see if I was holding something blunt and heavy, or if he was thinking of something perverted. He stepped to the side, and bowed like a butler as he said sarcastically, "Come in, mistress…"

_He's so lucky that I'm somewhat fond of him, or his tongue would be slapped out his throat…_

I quietly stepped into his room. Sora closed his door, locked it, and walked past me to sit on his bed with his blond look-alike, Roxas. They were both staring at me as I stood in the middle of the room, giving them a warning glare.

"All right, you little thieves… which one of you snatched my PSP?" I growled lowly.

Sora innocently cocked his head to the side and said, "I don't have it, Kairi…" He turned to Roxas and asked, "Have you seen it, Roxy?"

Roxas tapped his chin, pretending to be in thought. "Hmmm… Nope. But I did hear Riku say that he was taking it to the shop to do something with it… Probably to fix it."

In that instant, you could hear a record skid in my mind. _Oh God… curse my selective memory!_

"W-w-wait…what?" I stammered.

"Didn't he tell you? You were complaining about the games not reading on your PSP, so he went to get it fixed today," Roxas explained while raising an eyebrow, "Or did you forget?"

_Shit… I think Riku did tell me that... we were in the car, and I had my music in my ears. I heard him say something when I opened the door, and I wasn't really caring at the time. We had already arrived at the high school, and I was running late for my physics class. So I just said, "Okay, Riku, later! I'm late!" and I slammed the door and ran to class…_

I laughed nervously. "Heh heh, yeah… I really didn't get the message…"

"And because you didn't 'get the message,' you thought we stole it," Sora said with a tsk, "Now that you know that we didn't, what do we say?"

_God, I hate apologizing to idiots… but they're right…_

I bowed my head slowly, my blue eyes glued to the floor and my deep red hair falling in my face. "I'm… very sorry…" I said hesitantly, "If there's anything I can do to make up for my mistake…"

"…Anything?" Sora questioned, his lips curled in a perverted grin.

_Shit, my 'woman's intuition' just kicked in… Why did I say 'anything?' Too late now, they heard me… Might as well go with it…_

"…Yes," I said quietly, my eyes still on the carpet.

At that moment, I thought I heard one of them start to snicker; I couldn't tell if it was Sora or Roxas because my eyes were still staring at the floor. There was a moment of silence in the bedroom; the only noise I could make out was soft whispering.

_Well, they're apparently planning some sort of cruel and unusual punishment… I can only prepare myself and face my ultimate fate… God, I've been playing too much Legend of Zelda, it sounds like I'm about to die… But whatever they have planned, it's probably a fate worse than death, anyway…_

While I was lost in thought about the outcome of my situation, I failed to notice that someone had walked behind me and decided to take advantage of my distracted state. The next thing that happened that jolted me out of my train of thought was a hand grabbing my ass while I was still slightly bent over.

I shrieked in shock and turned around to see Roxas, with a perverted grin on his lips; in that instant, I knew what they were planning. _I was right: it's a fate worse than death._


End file.
